Oil on canvas (Gesso/acrylic paint toned)
1450mm x 1400mm
“Holding On” is a representation of clinging to facets of childhood, cultural identity, and personal resilience. The painting stands as a metaphor for navigating self-identity, blending elements of innocence with deeper, more introspective undertones. An image of myself as a child, dressed in a sheep costume, holding onto a Philippine hawk with a string, and surrounded by a flock of sheep. Inspired by nostalgia for flying plastic bag kites, I painted my child self holding on to my cultural heritage (Philippine hawk).
Art Process:
The base layer blended with white gesso and acrylic paint, incorporating gray and blue tones to create a dynamic, cloudy sky effect. As I worked, memories from childhood surfaced – specifically, the simple joy of drawing a sun in the corner of a page. This nostalgic thought infused my approach with a sense of playful freedom. The size of the canvas encouraged a more expressive application, leaving gestural marks visible for texture beneath the layers of oil paint.
Using oil paint mixed with medium W, focused on replicating the texture of sheep’s wool. One distinctive element in the painting is the nose, painted to resemble a sheep’s snout, appearing seamlessly affixed to my face without visible strings. This suggests an inherent blend of identity and disguise, as though the mask were an inseparable part of me.
Painting a series featuring a flock of sheep, using oil paint mixed with medium W and a touch of water to achieve a unique, grainy texture. This method added depth and an intriguing tactile quality to the canvas. I incorporated a layer of forest green beneath the sheep, allowing paint drips to naturally form. These drips evoke the multi-layered memories I associate with the land of New Zealand, symbolising the emotional and historical depths present in the landscape I cherish.
The slaughter sheep tag, painted in orange was significant. In reality, the tag should have been white, as the colour of slaughter tags denotes the year of birth for sheep, orange represents 2002, and white for 2001. Given that I was born in 2001, the accurate colour for my depiction should have been white. However, my deliberate choice of orange was a symbolic decision intended to subtly emphasize the theme of false identity. The incorrect colour choice suggests a narrative of misalignment between outward appearance and true identity. Inviting the viewer to question the stories behind the elements they see, contemplating the nuances of how identity is perceived versus reality.
Crystal Monique Biaño 